The Divinity In Darkness
We've all heard about the amazing connections and messages from divine sources such as Angels, God, Source, Universal Energy, and others that set our lives on a better path, a higher plane, and lead us to a better way of being. Sometimes we have a direct experience with Divinity, sometimes it comes through religious service, a messenger, or meditation. We all strive for this connection with Divinity that makes us feel that we are loved, cared for, and precious.
What about the polar opposite, our darkness and dark times? Our usual response to darkness is avoidance. The devil, our secrets, or our "badness" deep in our darkness is rarely exposed to the light due to the many ways we avoid our flip side.
I've alluded in past blogs to my pathways through the darkness. The best way to explain the reasons why we would allow ourselves to walk through our own darkness is to see it, simply. Darkness often has a message for us, loud and clear. The spiritual darkness we walk through often has direct correlation to our experiences.
For example, if we're in a relationship that doesn't honor us, we find ourselves plagued by dark energy that repeats itself in our heads, with messages of lack, self-defeating thoughts, and negativity. If we have someone in our lives that is constantly pulling energy from us, we feel drained, depressed, and unable to create and move forward.
If we are in what is called a Dark Night of the Soul (DNOS), we experience a time when everything seems to go wrong. Car breaks down, a beloved pet dies, we lose our shirts on what seemed like a sure thing, we just can't seem to catch a break. In times like these, when darkness overtakes us, it is hard to see the sliver lining waiting for us on the other side.
There is Divinity in darkness. My guides explained this to me very simply when I started down the path to becoming a spiritual worker; when the darkness comes, it is a signal to take a break, go within, and regroup. The Universe is giving us a pass, so that we can contract. The natural laws of the Universe state that our expansion and contraction have to balance each other.
My experience with darkness has been very interesting. Anyone on the path to awakening can agree that our experiences aren't always what we expected or wanted. My first spiritual experience with darkness was with a large energy (they usually are in the spiritual realm) that wanted to show me what it was like when the timeline stopped.
In the spiritual realms time is circular, not linear. Time can stop, reverse, move forward and back at the same time. Once we awaken to our true natures, we start to have direct experiences with spiritual beings and energies. This energy basically stopped time around me. I could hear the universe (it comes as a high pitched buzz in the ears) loud and clear, and I felt like I was spinning so fast I was going to be sick. The message was, "see what you can manifest in a second, and get yourself out of this funk".
It worked! The lesson clearly was that I had complete control over my environment, my thoughts, and my emotions. I had to set intentions every second, then every minute, then every hour, to truly understand what the Universe meant by giving me a break.
During my second DNOS, I experienced an energy that wanted to show me all the levels of consciousness. We were zooming up and down the elevator of time and space, experiencing all of the Divine energies as well as the darkness that lives underground and in places often referred to as the Underworld.
Being in that space provided me with perspective, that all the energies in the dark have a message that can be conveyed to us. Many of the darker energies are highly psychic and often mirror what is going on in our lives. The energy that I was experiencing kept pushing my body back down to the ground, as if to remind me to ground myself. It did it over and over again until I grounded myself and once I did, I was able to see all the layers of consciousness.
People often run away from the darkness in their lives, try to stuff it down, or ignore it. They sage it, or purify it out, or detoxify, expecting it to go away. It's been my experience that it doesn't go away, it simply sits on the outskirts of our consciousness, waiting for a low period to come back in and show us what we need to grow and move forward.
n my third DNOS (yes, as a spiritual worker this happens more often), I had a full experience with the Divinity in darkness. I was on the precipice of accepting my father's suicide and everything that had happened in my life leading up to it, and after it. I was being taken over completely by darkness, I couldn't function, and wasn't sleeping.
After a few weeks of fitful sleep, I got a break. I decided to open up, be vulnerable, and totally accept whatever was coming. My spiritual teachers call this complete Surrender, the prerequisite to growing up spiritually and energetically. So I just, surrendered. This is not the same as giving up, it's finding strength in the energies that support you, and letting go of control.
As a channel and a medium, I hear energies around me and sometimes allow them through to deliver messages to my clients. There had been previews of energies coming completely through my energy body, all of it. In the past this had happened sporadically, and it always resulted in my going in a new direction.
This time I surrendered completely, and a very large, almost the size of God, Indigo presence took over my spiritual body and completely enveloped me. I knew that this was going to be one of the lowest places I would ever go. I had experienced the abyss before, the blackness that envelops us when there is huge stress, or trauma.
This was different. This energy enveloped me, but also brought a calm and peace I hadn't experienced before. As I lay there watching the energies of the Underworld move past my eyes, it became clear. It wasn't looking to hurt or harm me, it wasn't teaching me a lesson, it was simply holding me in the dark. Holding me, telling me it was ok to go this low.
In the past I had pushed away the experiences of the dark abyss, or the still point at the bottom of our energetic bodies, or the dark voids that overtake our consciousness. This time there was nothing to do but accept myself, as I was at that time, and see that the balance of dark and light really was necessary to focus my energy and remain grounded on Earth.
The Divinity in darkness made me stop and reconsider all of the negativity I had been plunging myself into, all the junk I had been listening to in my head, and the way I had been treating my body and mind. This negativity didn't just affect me, it affected my family and friends, colleagues and clients. Once I accepted this part of myself as my darkness, it began to lighten.
The burden that it had placed on my consciousness started to lift, move away, and clear. It's like the roller coaster of life, we have to go all the way down to get all the way to the top. My spiritual experiences had shown me that there is warmth, acceptance, and love in the dark, just as much as there is in the light.
The balance of the two is Universal Law. Love is the way through the dark. We have to surrender to see the light on the other side.