Updated: Jun 14
I didn't set out to have the ability to talk to the dead. Most people don't go through life asking to speak to spirits or have the ability to see them. I came by it quite by accident.
After my father's death, which he planned for quite a while before he took his life, he began to try to contact me. It's widely accepted that people will try to contact the dead or communicate right after they pass, to make sure their loved one is ok, or that they are at peace. My father was not taking that route.
He had definite messages for me. The first time he contacted me, I was sitting on the floor in the office where he died, and I felt a coldness on my back that told me he was present. I was rifling through financial paperwork and he was trying to point to the document I was looking for. This happened a few times over the next weeks, as we pulled out all we would need for his estate.
He also blinked the lights, zapped a phone battery, erased pictures on my sister's phone, and then her car battery died, and the power went out. It was obvious he was trying to communicate, but was doing it a bit too strongly. I contacted a medium friend of mine and she helped me see that he was not going away, any time soon. He was right there trying to get through.
When I went back to Florida, he came through even more strongly. He would turn the music on the alarm clock on, or flicker the lights. But usually, he just came right through and wanted to tell me what to do. He would yell at me to call the lawyer (his best friend) when I was stuck with the estate, or just be a nuisance until I listened.
When I would go to his gravesite, it was obvious that he wasn't there. He was following me around. He was speaking to me as much as he wanted to, and he wanted me to let my family know that he was. However, my family wasn't keen on me talking to the dead, or having help from the other side. They didn't believe what was happening to me. Most of the spirits they knew were not that bothersome.
It's become clear to me that most people try to seek out communication with their loved ones after death. However for me and for some of my clients, it lasts much longer than that. One of my clients had a parent die when she was a child, and her spirit had been trying to get through for years. Another of my clients recently lost his parent, and she wanted him to know that she was happy and at peace.
My father was another animal. He wasn't ready to cross over, and he wanted to keep me company. He wanted to talk to my kids. He accompanied me to Reiki I and listened to the whole class. It was nice to have him around, but setting boundaries with a spirit was something that was new to me. Because of my love for him, I didn't set many.
That proved to be an issue. Most mediums know that spirits have laws they have to abide by. They are not allowed to possess a human body, and if they are going to a channel they are allowed to pass messages through, but are supposed to leave afterward. I didn't know these rules at the time, and he tried to break the rules.
My clients often reflect what I have learned, or am learning, in the spiritual realms. I had a client come to me shortly afterward for Reiki, whose husband had died. He came to me after the session, yelling into my ear and basically demanding that I call her. I did, and she confirmed that he had been abusive. At that point I negotiated with him that either he was going to apologize, or tell her he loved her and move on, both of which he did.
That was my test, the beginning of my self care, the ability to set appropriate boundaries with the spirits who contacted me and were around my clients. One of my clients had two deceased spouses. Gaining reconciliation for my clients with their spirit relatives was rewarding as well as eye-opening. I started to understand that there was much more beyond a check in to see if they were ok, or at peace.
Because I had the relationship with my father where I could hear and "see" him with my third eye, other spirits could see this too. This is the way spiritual opening and abilities work, once you are initiated into them, and gain the ability, you are a lightbulb for other similar tests. It's as if you have a spiritual OPEN sign above your head.
My life with my father got better, once I explained the spiritual rules to him, and set appropriate boundaries. He came to me in dreams after that, and never yelled at me again. He still tries to break through and talk to my kids, but I leave that to them, and their abilities, because spirits are able to talk to us energetically, to our higher selves, and we are rarely conscious of it.
I've had some very interesting and amazing experiences since then. Being able to bring someone peace by letting them know their loved one is present and has messages, and gaining the ability to deliver those messages, is wonderful. Understanding that sometimes, the dead bring the living around for spiritual help, is another lesson.
The best part about mediumship is your own personal relationship with the spiritual realm. I've had ghosts visit me from very old cemeteries in New Orleans, I've had spirits tell me stories, and I've "met" Jean Lafitte, who gets my sense of humor and likes to tell me very dirty jokes in French when I'm feeling down.
It's an interesting way to go, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm grateful for the lessons I have had and happy to have gained a way to open more to the "other side". And I'm glad my father has more peace than he had in his life. The journey was worth it.