Please be aware this story has notes about my father's suicide. If you need help, call the National Helpline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK), or text the crisis line at 741-741. For veterans in crisis, text 838-255.
My spiritual journey began when I was little. I started at a Catholic school in preschool, in a building in New Orleans that had been given to the nuns in 1887. The floors were hardwood, and you could feel the echoes of the generations of women who had gone to school there, including my mother and grandmother.
When I was five, I had an altar in my room with holy cards. I had a little statue of Mary and some other pictures and drawings of happy little girls. I would pray every night before bed, and hold the card with the picture of Jesus in my hand. That was my spot, a little protected space.
After I turned six, my father got very sick. He had been sick when I was three, but I didn’t remember this much. He had a psychic break and spent time in the hospital. Over the next several years, he was in and out of both the hospital and the psychiatric ward. During this time, every time I prayed, it felt like Jesus and Mary were wrapping their arms around me, saying that they would take care of me, no matter what happened.
When I was nine, my father attempted suicide. My grandfather, who shared a birthday with me, died shortly afterward. This opened me up in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. Suddenly my father was gone to live in a new house, and I had to take care of my mother and my sister. I became very sensitive.
I was like a sponge. I absorbed other people’s emotions all the time. I reacted to them and calmed others to keep the peace. I became so sensitive that I cried all the time. At this point I was going through puberty, and the addition of hormones did not help. My father continued to struggle with himself, and attempted suicide two more times.
By the time I was sixteen I was having migraines almost every day. I had visions of a person standing behind me, following me around. I found astrology shortly after that, and then I met my future husband. Meeting him was like a breath of fresh air. His family embraced me, and he became my rock.
I left to go out of state for college. A few years later I came back for nursing school, and my husband went to culinary school. My dad was stable now, having found a medication regimen that worked. I had decided after studying to be a vet and interning, that I wanted to work with humans.
I graduated from Nursing school in 1998. I loved my job in Geriatrics. Older people had the best stories. I prayed every day, all day. My patients rarely coded, because I always felt that I had God on my side and an angel standing right next to me. They did get sick, but many times I caught it right before they went south and stopped breathing.
When I got pregnant with my daughter, I decided to go into Home Health. The change was wonderful and welcome. She was premature and spent time in the NICU, and had breathing issues when she got home. I decided to stay at home with her and take care of her. There is a phrase that says that nurses are only given what they can handle, and I have always found this to be true.
We were lucky to be introduced to breastmilk for preemies at MUSC in Charleston, SC. I became a breastfeeding advocate overnight and began my new career as a postpartum doula. Shortly after my second child was born, a son, I became an accredited La Leche League Leader (I served for 12 years before retiring in 2018).
I loved my work with moms, as my grandfather who shared my birthday had been an Ob-Gyn and had delivered many, many babies in New Orleans. I felt like he was guiding me, and would always help me find the right questions to the answers that mothers asked. He wasn’t like any other doctor I have ever met, he had trained with the Frontier Midwives in Kentucky and had learned to be gentle, and listen.
We moved to Iowa shortly after my third baby was born. I continued my work, and met a nurse who was a healer named Gail Hardinger-McCarthy through my LLL and Holistic Moms group. She told me on our first meeting that I was always meant to be a healer. I took my first Healing Touch class, taught by her, in 2010.
We moved to Florida right after that. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue my Healing Touch journey, as each level of the classes (there are five) brought up something new to be healed, and I wasn’t sure if I was up to it. My father appeared to be going through a rough time, and started talking about death more and more.
After I took Healing Touch 2, I started to feel him. From four states away I could feel him leaving his body almost daily. I would call him, and he would be fine. But I wasn’t sure what was going on with him or what he was thinking. He called me out of the blue one night to tell me he loved me. He completed suicide shortly after that, in 2012.
There was a big hole left in my life. Despite his mental illness, he always supported us, financially and emotionally. He was a Pisces just like me, and just as sensitive. We would have long talks on the phone, he was always interested in my life. I realized after he died that God had taken him immediately. I became heavily involved in spiritual healing, trying to find answers to what had happened to him after that.
Then a curious thing happened. He started talking to me. At first it was blinking lights, and turning on radios. Then it became more of a conversation. I couldn’t believe I could hear him. During Healing Touch classes I had become more in-tune with things beyond the veil, but I couldn’t quite hear. Now that he was gone, he came through loud and clear.
I didn’t set out to be a medium. I wasn’t even sure I could do it for other people, having never been trained. And then two mentors took me under their wings, Mary Shutan, my online friend, and Stormy Lake, who was the first healer I met in Orlando. They both told me I had gifts that needed to be developed.
In the following years I took many spiritual classes. Stormy is still my friend and mentor, and Mary has gone on to write several spiritual books, which have become quite famous. When I took Healing Touch level 3, it glossed over spiritual helpers. I took Reiki in the middle of Healing Touch classes so that I could fully understand the spirituality behind energy healing. I teach Reiki so that I can share this full picture with others.
I am happy to say that my father has found much more peace in the afterlife than he ever had on Earth. I practiced mediumship for my clients for a while, but that is not my main focus. My purpose is to use my intuitive gifts to help others uncover their inner wisdom so that they can heal themselves. I have known that I wanted to work in spirituality since I discovered astrology as a teenager.
Each of my mentors and teachers have been very helpful in my learning to heal myself and to heal others. I have learned to hone my intuition and empathic abilities. I'd love to help you reconnect with your inner wisdom so that you can experience the peace I have discovered. We always have support from both the physical and spiritual realms. Life is a journey, and it is not meant to be traveled alone.